Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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