i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
