hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
