so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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