wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize