And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
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also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i now understand why vodka
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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