Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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