all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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