Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There r osticjed everywhere
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
