Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
