You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
me + whiskey = a bad person
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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