Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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