It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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