New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
