i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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