I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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