I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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