i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
