yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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