I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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