i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
be right there i have to get my cape
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize