didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
honey bunches of taint.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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