Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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