she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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