I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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