some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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