I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
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Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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