Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
