as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
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I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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