Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
