So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
