i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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