Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
