What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
