In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
