I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
