You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
