at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
