Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
