Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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