you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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