did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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