If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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