The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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