Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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