he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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