I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
