i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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