just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
