Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
