found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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