Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
