with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
