We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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