Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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