I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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