when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
