we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
